Notes read a bit desperate sounding. Arguably if you were published or working in a significant role it may well impress/motivate a model to approach you for shoots. As it stands they'll see you current port and judge that. Perhaps that's why you're finding it quiet?
I'm not a fan of your direction or composition and styling but your basic shots seem fairly sharp and decently exposed - this is when bad things seem to happen. You're post processing is weird. Some is just cheesy, old fashioned and jaded looking, selective colour and over smooth skin being examples. The bra in the main picture on your port looks like it's been coloured in with wax crayon, there's no detail left at all?
So, potential in terms of operating a camera undone by the post processing finesse of a cow operating a musket.
I'd suggest you pay for a damn good model with styling and posing ability of a high order. Do some research on composition and framing, then go shoot with this in mind. Come home and try to do as little as possible in post - see how that looks, maybe repost for critique.
If this seems harsh, I'd suggest you give up in portfolio reviews since it should already be plain that your stuff misses the mark, lots.
The first thing I notice in the main image is the bra with almost no detail in it because It is so unnatural looking. Then I notice the way overdone skin smoothing and think that this is the cause of the bra as well.
The skin is very white, and the background looks like some HDR attempt gone wrong. In my opinion this is your worst image.
Way overdone skin smoothing and probably eye whitening.
Selective colour - this has to add impact to the image to work. In neither case on your portfolio does it do so.
The wedding picture has none of these efects. The bride's skin tones look natural. I'm not a fan of the composition as I think she is a bit lost in all of that scenery and clouds, both of which could do with cropping to get the girl back as the main player in the picture. A square crop would look much better. On the other hand, the fact that you didn't over-edit it makes it stand out over the others.
Yep your main image is pretty shocking - if that's what I encountered when clicking on a model's portfolio I'd be off like a shot.
I reckon if you forget entirely about post processing and concentrate on producing well let but simple headshots using competent models for a bit you'd lift your port significantly. Start with the basics and grow from there. Restrict your post processing to blemish removal using the patch tool and colour correction. Nothing too taxing but if you pick the right models your port will start to shine.