The recent ones are lit fairly nicely, though your attention to detail is poor relative to those creases as mentioned. The limit now is in terms if what looks good for a model to do in pictures. If you get a competent and gifted model that'll be much easier results wise. Here it's either that you've badly directed an ok model or you've failed to direct a newbie; takes the edge off what you've tried to achieve I feel. Certainly worry pushing harder to get where you're aiming for.
Hi Paul, personally I think the September shots are the best, but as previously mentioned be aware of the background and also the model, lookout for details like bra-straps seeming to appear from nowhere. What I try to do is compose the shot then take the camera away from my eye and have a look to see if there is anything out of place then shoot.