We've all heard them - what models and photographers really mean!!

We've all heard them - what models and photographers really mean!!

39 posts
27 July 2013
SMILESPHOTO
Photographer
SMILESPHOTO
Just a tongue-in-cheek look at a few of the well-used expressions on Purestorm and what they (sometimes!) translate to. This is for fun so please add your own favourites and share the smiles.



'Enjoy socialising at weekends' = Don't waste your time booking me for a Sunday as I'll still be as p*ssed as a fart.

'I always bring a chaperone' = I have a really posessive partner who'll go ape if I show more than an ankle.

'Sorry, just so busy for the next few weeks' = Not the slightest bit interested in working with you.

'I really love your work' = Happy to work with you if you pay me enough.

'So refreshing to meet a model without implants' = I know you don't do topless but how about just this once?

'I've a client who's paying me for these images' = Me and my mates will get our rocks off over these.

'I'm so sorry - my phone died and my nan/kid/Uncle Tom Cobley got rushed to hospital' = Got wrecked last night and don't give a f*ck.



P.S. I, of course have never used such excuses! surprise

Rich.



Posted 27 July 2013
Edited by SMILESPHOTO 27 July 2013
mph
Photographer
mph
Recommended = he was a creep

Posted 27 July 2013
RupertRudd
Photographer
RupertRudd
One or two small stretch marks, easily Photoshopped = Looks like a tripe dressers workbench.

Posted 27 July 2013
Edited by RupertRudd 27 July 2013
Hahaha.

Posted 3 Aug 2013
alexkidd
Photographer
alexkidd
i like to put my all into shoots = i can stand in front of a camera

Posted 3 Aug 2013
Socialdisaster
Photographer
Socialdisaster
"natural looks" - doesn't know how to do makeup and hair.

"art nude specialist" - face like a brick wall.



we're gonna go to hell for this thread 0.o

Posted 3 Aug 2013
mph
Photographer
mph
Interested in creating art = not got a clue how to pose.

Posted 3 Aug 2013
somph
Photographer
somph
For both photographers and models: "I'm on my way" when already late = I forgot/I'm hung over/no-show
Posted 3 Aug 2013
Sarge
Photographer
Sarge
New to modelling, 100% committed - For the 2 weeks I will on PureStorm where I wont answer or read any messages.

New photographer into art nudes - Want to see naked ladies that I can snap with my camera phone.

Dress size 8 - dress size 14.

Published - posted photos on Face Book.

Posted 3 Aug 2013
Edited by Sarge 3 Aug 2013
Socialdisaster
Photographer
Socialdisaster
"appeared in zoo" - my b/f sent a snap of my tits in to the website and it got to no.87 in the top 100 weeks submissions.

Posted 3 Aug 2013
mph
Photographer
mph
I give 110% = I might turn up

Posted 3 Aug 2013
StreetModel
Photographer
StreetModel
I have a few ideas of my own I'd like to explore = when I have finished my stuff, if there is time, we can do what you booked me for

I have a varied wardrobe = Oxfam was having a sale



Posted 3 Aug 2013
Phil_M
Photographer
Phil_M
30 years experience = I've had a camera for 30 years

I'm very choosy who I work with = most people won't work with me

Small Studio owner = I have a spare room and it has curtains

I speak my mind = I have no social skills

I'm brutally honest = I'm an attention seeking dick with a very high opinion of myself

I don't agree with retouching = I don't know how to retouch

Don't ever call me a tog = I am a Photographer and your abbreviation has offended my massive ego. I will now compare myself to an astronaught/brain surgeon (also likely to have an irrational hatred of the worlds most offensive word "Hun" and have a very small penis/ wear a lot of corduroy and socks with sandals







Posted 3 Aug 2013
newbie talk explained

experienced - my boyfriend paid for a shoot at the local studio or my friend does art/photography at college and I 'modelled' for them in the local park twice

paid work only - I need more drinking money

gaining confidence - be prepared to delete any image I dont like or I may cry

scouted by newlook (seen this more times than I can count) - Im full of bullshit and dont understand scams

110% - there is a 90% chance I wont show up or finish booking

amateur looking for paid work - my boyfriend thinks im pretty and thats worth your money

plus sized - size 16 or 20+

size 12 - size 14/16+

Im blessed with a beautiful child - you will wait for over an hour then Ill tell you I took my child to the park instead, dont be mad my child comes first

people tell me I should model - I have a huge ego

only if I can bring a chaperone - my mam wants me to model and will look over your shoulder the whole time while telling you what to do because this will look so nice if you can blur the skin and make everything except the pink shoes into black and white

loads of ideas - Ive seen this awesome shoot with stripy socks/sweets/rose petals and I own angel wings

no nude or topless EVER - I either will never respond or will be a nude model in less than a month

Im fully booked - make it look like im popular and they might pay me even though Ive never had a shoot


I could go on but I think everyone knows this stuff

Posted 3 Aug 2013
Edited by RattusRock 3 Aug 2013
Just waiting for my new camera to arrive = I can't afford it ... or a model.

Posted 4 Aug 2013
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