* Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.
* If you're in a bad mood, we're going to assume it's our fault. So, tell us what's bothering you.
* Don't act like a big shot to impress us. It always backfires.
* Quit complaining about your boss. Find another job.
* Sunday is usually the only day we can relax. Be flexible about the all-day sports rule.
* Pay attention. We like to give clues. "Susie and Bob tried a great new restaurant" means "Why don't you ever take us anywhere nice?"
* Would it kill you to mark our birthday, anniversary and Valentine's Day on your calendar?
* If we wanted to check our own oil, rotate our own tires, change our own fuses and put stuff on the highest shelf, we'd be men.
* We'll stop faking it if you'll stop asking us.
* We'll never bug you to stop and ask for directions if you'll just figure out in advance how to get where we're going.
* Yes, it's true. Sometimes we like to call up and talk about nothing. Get used to it.
* PMS is a medically recognized condition. It's not in our heads.
* We care nothing about monster trucks, car systems, stereo systems or paint ball. We're just pretending.
* The kissing must never stop.
* We have no intentions of shaving our legs everyday.
* Don't make bets about us; we always find out.
* We will always think we're fat. Would it kill you to tell us we're not?
* We will never pick a fight with you while you're doing the laundry or the dishes or washing our car.
* Don't ask for our phone number if you don't intend to use it within 48 hours.
* Don't blame us for the sins of your ex-wives and girlfriends.
* Understand that tit-for-tat doesn't mean anything dirty. It just means for every wrestling match we watch with you on TV, we get one "The Practice."
* If we don't laugh, it doesn't mean we don't get it--we get it- -it means it's not funny.
* If you ask us where we'd like to go on a date, don't pout when we tell you.
* Don't count our shoes and we won't count your Playboys
* If you've finished the toilet paper, replace the roll. We bet you can figure out where we keep it.
* If you ask us what's wrong and we say nothing, ask us again. And this time, look sincere
* We are not nags, it's just that you never do what we ask the first time.
* Real men run dishwashers.
* And dust.
* Inviting us to come over to watch you watch sports is not a date.
* Don't bring your mobile phone on a date unless you have children.
* If you hold our hand in public, it doesn't mean you're whipped.
* We believe that you mean everything that it says in a greeting card. So, spend a few minutes and pick out a nice one.
* When we say money isn't important, we're lying.
* No one dies of a cold.
* If you call yourself "the kid" and/or speak of yourself in the third person, we will have to leave.
* If it itches, wash it.
* When you answer us while you're watching television, at least turn your head in our direction.
* If you would compliment us on a regular basis, we would stop asking you if we look fat and if other girls are prettier than we are.
* If you only knew how much getting flowers for no reason means to us, you would do it and your life would improve exponentially.
* Consider removing your back hair. We'd be glad to shave it..
* If you compare us to your mother, we'll compare you to our father. And you'll come up short
* When you send us flowers, always send them to the office.
* Only the worst kind of a pig stares at other women when he's with us. We look at other men, but we do it discreetly.
* When no one's home, stand in front of a mirror and practice this until you can say it in public, "I was wrong."
* After you've mastered that, work on, "I'm sorry."
* We are neither your mother nor your maid.
Of course! http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Man_flu
1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable scientific fact*. *(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)
2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of people living in the rain forest. And probably loads of monkeys too.
3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' - which, if a man caught, he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in all other kinds of manly activities
Read more: http://www.city-data.com/forum/relationships/597948-man-flu-frequently-debilitating-often-fatal.html#ixzz2DjOvGo62