Generally heartbroken.

Generally heartbroken.

49 posts
25 Sep 2012
I don't really know where to start.
I know I've posted a while back about my boyfriend breaking up with me.
I've started a new college course and am dealing with it incredibly badly.
I can't get my mind off him- he was my first love and it's just terribly heartbreaking to know the person whom you thought the world of is no longer part of your life and thinks rather unkind things about me.
I shared many wonderful moments and memories with him and I just feel like my world has changed in a way. Anyone experienced a similar scenario?I know 'time is the best healer' but I'm really wanting to work hard on this college course and finding it excruciatingly challenging to improve and explore art with him constantly roaming through my thoughts. I find myself lying in bed deliberating on our relationship and analysing every aspect of what went wrong.
Serious comments only please- would be appreciated.
Thanks.

Posted 25 Sep 2012
It's horrible when relationships break up. Feel greatest sympathy for you.

I was engaged to a a guy, he was my world at the time...and it ended...found out that even the engagement ring he'd given me wasn't a real diamond...and he's been two timing me.

Took ages to get over...Didn't think would ever trust another guy, BUT I did and went on to meet my now husband and we've been happily married for 39 years this year.

It will be hard for you...but hearts do mend.

If fate decrees you meet someone else, you could be happy again. You may not believe that NOW...but hold on in there. Time IS a healer.

Good luck with your future.

Am sure the guys and gals on here will offer good advice.

To share hurt can help...
 
All the best with your college course...don't spend your nights thinking what could have been with your first love...

Release your negative thoughts and TRY to think positively...It's always harder with first love...that song says it all 'The First Cut is the Deepest'

Best wishes,

Suzy x

Posted 25 Sep 2012
Edited by SuzyMonty 25 Sep 2012
DavidHunt
Photographer
DavidHunt
Break-up's are never easy, even for the one who has done the 'breaking up'. So true, time really IS a great healer but that probably doesn't help you right now. Maybe the best thing you need right now is a 'true' (female?) friend who is thoughtful, understanding, a great listener but someone who is also strong and able to lift your spirits when needed. At least at college you should be with 'like minded people' who can hold an educated conversation about your particular course and other interesting subjects. This will, above all else, help you to move on in life both personally and professionally. It won't be easy, as your ex will be in your thoughts for a while, but over time your course will keep you busy and before you know it you are thinking less about him. Hang on to the good memories you have. These form an important part of your lifes make-up and experiences. At the end of the day, you know there are people who think the world of you, these will be friends for life. Keep your chin(s!!) up
Posted 25 Sep 2012
grahamsphotography
Photographer
grahamsphoto..

The love of my life left me and it nearly destroyed me, but in the end I decided that she would not ruin my life.

You can get over it, maybe never completely as nearly 25 years later a little something will crop up to remind me of her.

I have had some great times since though, whatever you do don`t turn to anti depressants.



Posted 25 Sep 2012
I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I was in a relationship for three and a half years with a man who no longer talks to me. He was my first love. No advice will really help but I can offer you this:

+ Don't negate or invalidate your emotions. You're grieving.
+ There are people out there who will help you. Ask your GP for a referrel to see a councillor. I went on antidepressents when I broke up with my ex. I knew the pain would stop eventually, but I didn't know when and the pain was too great. I needed help.
+ Distract yourself. I chose to sleep most of the time as being awake hurt too much as I thought about him all the time. I went on holiday, went out to gigs, went on walks... I just went out.

Posted 25 Sep 2012
Webbo2
Photographer
Webbo2
I'm 23 now, but as I started my first year at college, my first love broke up with me and I was a mess. That year I failed 3 out of 4 AS-levels, got a D in the 4th. I had to go back the following year and start again from scratch with my AS-levels in subjects that I wasn't that interested in (my tutors refused a re-entry to my previous years courses). So I wasted a year of my life, and didn't go to university to study what I had always planned for as I didn't have the necessary qualifications.

Don't make the same mistake that I did!

Whilst it never (ever) stopped hurting, you have to find a way to concentrate on your studies, it's difficult but not impossible. Feel free to pm me if you want to ask my anything about my experience, I'll be happy to share my story in more detail.

Posted 25 Sep 2012
samsara
Model
samsara
Been there like many others, and its heart wrenching.
I made the mistake of not eating lost alot of weight, wasnt sleeping as I couldnt ,ended up making myself very ill through someone who had cheated and treated me like i was a lunatic.
Tried tablets from the doctor they personally werent for me.
Took me 3 years to get fully over him.The best day is when you see them and feel nothing

Chin up and try and focus on your college course and what fabulous opportunties are ahead of you.
Also doing things you enjoy will start to distract your mind.

xx

Posted 25 Sep 2012
_elegia_
Photographer
_elegia_
Distractions, and plenty of them.
Throw yourself into your college work and modelling. Just keep yourself busy and be around friends etc.
I've lost over a stone in weight (not that I'm complaining) and go through spells of feeling sad. But I've managed to keep my mind occupied with work and modelling, and thankfully I have plenty of good people around that have kept me on the right track.

Best wishes. xx



Posted 25 Sep 2012
Weirdly, I found talking to people online helped the most. I had my friends around me but a lot of them knew him, and I worried I was boring them (I wasn't). My friends on sites like this, and others I use, were good to talk to. Impartial people who had been through the same.

I hope you stay strong.

x

Posted 25 Sep 2012
Thank you so much for your kind words everybody. I will try distract myself from anything that reminds me of him. I'm in such a state of shock and heartbreak at the moment that I just can't bring myself to do anything without feeling hopelessly lost and demotivated... The only way I can describe it is as if I'm looking down on myself from a far distance...watching myself deteriorate and fall apart. I feel angry, sad and confused but worst of all- numb. Any advice on what are the best distractions? Music-makes me cry art- it comes out terribly due to my lack of concentration reading- can't focus tv- can't focus piano- can't focus (seems to be a repeating pattern) I can't focus on anything or it makes me cry so I have to step away.
Posted 25 Sep 2012
angelique110

Any advice on what are the best distractions? Music-makes me cry art- it comes out terribly due to my lack of concentration reading- can't focus tv- can't focus piano- can't focus (seems to be a repeating pattern) I can't focus on anything or it makes me cry so I have to step away.


Well... 
How about going on some dates? thats a good distraction, especially if you meet somebody who is nicer and better looking than your ex.
You never know - you might actually meet somebody who instantly takes your breath away and in a week if anybody mentions you're ex you will be like "who?".
Not that it works for everything or body but it's worth a try if everything else fails and sometimes its nice to just meet somebody who doesn't know you're past or what you are going though, but then I put up a mask when things get shitty and eventually with everyone acting normal around me I start feeling a little better.

Good luck x
Posted 25 Sep 2012
OldMaster
Photographer
OldMaster
I know things bite hard when young...I was there myself , but. I would never have thought about going public wth it on a modelling site viewed by thousands, particularly if it is likely to impact on how some may feel now about booking you?

Different generation I know...I am always staggered at what people write on fb for the world to see...

How about confiding more with your family and true friends rather than sharing it with strangers on a site that exists to network models, mua's and togs?

Posted 25 Sep 2012
shobart
Model
shobart
Don't be afraid to feel how you do - cry, draw (even if you feel it's terrible) - all of these things will help. Time is the best healer, but I definitely agree with the comment about talking to people online who are removed from the situation. I was in pieces when I broke up with my first love and the best person to talk to was probably (and predictably) my mum - I don't know if that's something you'd considered? Anyway, chin up lovely, it does get better!

Sarah xx

Posted 25 Sep 2012
Hobbeldehoy
Photographer
Hobbeldehoy
You've been reading too many Mills n Boons.
Posted 25 Sep 2012
pinkbuildingphotography
Photographer
pinkbuilding..
angelique110

Thank you so much for your kind words everybody. I will try distract myself from anything that reminds me of him. I'm in such a state of shock and heartbreak at the moment that I just can't bring myself to do anything without feeling hopelessly lost and demotivated... The only way I can describe it is as if I'm looking down on myself from a far distance...watching myself deteriorate and fall apart. I feel angry, sad and confused but worst of all- numb. Any advice on what are the best distractions? Music-makes me cry art- it comes out terribly due to my lack of concentration reading- can't focus tv- can't focus piano- can't focus (seems to be a repeating pattern) I can't focus on anything or it makes me cry so I have to step away.


Cry for a few days.  It will do you good.

I find excercise helps, I do some hard excercise when I am distressed especially angry:
running, rowing, swimming, bikes etc.

I have found that an hour of front call whilst allowing the anger to run through my mind did me no end of good.

It may work for others.

David
Posted 25 Sep 2012
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