You favourite joke

You favourite joke

55 posts
5 Sep 2012
SandyCamel
Photographer
SandyCamel
Perhaps off topic, not a game ?

Perhaps already done ?

Perhaps a very lonely thread lol !


Any-way - the idea is that you just tell your favourite joke of the moment.
so:


Why must you never order duck in a restaurant ?


Because you always end up with two bills !




Posted 5 Sep 2012
GrimeAndGlamour
Photographer
GrimeAndGlam..
Doomed to failure!
My favorite joke will get me thrown off here and my second favorite is too long...but I will tell you the punchline....
"...she pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed so much ,she farted, blew away all the flour, and the soldiers all wet themselves laughing!"
Posted 5 Sep 2012
Edited by GrimeAndGlamour 5 Sep 2012
Snipet
Photographer
Snipet
Am I the only one trying to work out how the hell that joke goes just by using the punch line?

You've got to tell us the whole thing now, surely.

Posted 5 Sep 2012
pat_hayes
Photographer
pat_hayes
Man in Chinese Restaurant....

Waiter, This steak is rubbery

AAhhh,, fank u velly much sir.....

Posted 6 Sep 2012
John_Adrian_Studios
Photographer
John_Adrian_..
Two spiders walking across a cardboard box.
Suddenly, one of them starts to run.
Why are you running so fast? asked the other spider.
Well, it says "tear along dotted line".

surprise
Posted 6 Sep 2012
John_Adrian_Studios
Photographer
John_Adrian_..

I've heard that the farming magazine 'Farmer's Weekly' is to merge with 'Playboy'.
Apparently, it's going to be called 'The Farma Sutra'.

Here's another one you won't like:

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician who sat down and worked it out with a pencil?

I'm leaving now 

Posted 6 Sep 2012
GrimeAndGlamour
Photographer
GrimeAndGlam..
Snipet

Am I the only one trying to work out how the hell that joke goes just by using the punch line? You've got to tell us the whole thing now, surely.


I dont have enough ink in my computer to type it all out! haha
Google "lancaster bomber joke" it MAY show up--probaly not worth the effort though!  hehe
Posted 6 Sep 2012
SandyCamel
Photographer
SandyCamel
A duck walks into a Pharmacists and says "I would like to buy some lip-gloss please".

The pharmacist says "Yes, certainly, are paying by cash or cheque ?"

To which the duck replies "Neither, just put it on my bill"

Posted 6 Sep 2012
John_Adrian_Studios
Photographer
John_Adrian_..
The guy who invented the cat's eyes in the middle of the road, got the idea when driving home one night when his headlights reflected off the eyes of a cat walking towards him.
If the cat had been walking the other way, he would have invented the pencil sharpener instead!

Posted 10 Sep 2012
jaejay
Photographer
jaejay
GrimeAndGlamour
Google "lancaster bomber joke" it MAY show up--probaly not worth the effort though!  hehe
I googled it and I just finished up with a link back to this thread
Posted 10 Sep 2012
Brian_Markie
Photographer
Brian_Markie
My mate was having his house warming party last weekend, i asked him what he'd like, he said just bring anything, so i took him a radiator.
Posted 10 Sep 2012
DCox
Photographer
DCox
A 3 legged dog clad in a poncho and chewing on a cigarillo..rides into an old west town with tumbleweed blowing across the landscape His spurs clink as he kicks open the salon bar door and the piano player pauses in his tune as the dog approaches the bar.

The nervous barmen pours whisky into a shot glass and timidly asks: Hey dawg...whatcha doing in this here town"

the dog looks him in the eyes and says" Im looking for the man who shot ma paw"

Posted 10 Sep 2012
DCox
Photographer
DCox
My wife said that if I wanted sex I had to go out and buy something that made her look beautiful.

so how come she was not happy when I came home drunk?




"Kids of today ha!!! You know who really gives kids a bad name? Do you? Posh and Becks."

Posted 10 Sep 2012
AlanBooth
Photographer
AlanBooth
Young boy gets up in the night to answer the call of nature. On his way to the bathroom he sees a light coming from his parents bedroom and the door is slightly open. He peeks in. When he eventually gets to the bathroom he is muttering to himself "and to think she shouts at me for sucking my thumb"

Posted 11 Sep 2012
Ok I'm a woman but even I find this joke funny...

2 women were sitting quietly...

Haha!

Posted 11 Sep 2012
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