supportive partners?

supportive partners?

98 posts
2 Aug 2012
Hi I casually dropped it In to conversation with my boyfriend that I was wanting to do glamour modelling etc ... The response I received was completely unexpected. He was livid. Told me if I did it I was a slag, easy all the usual names. Then proceeded to say ur too fat and ugly, no1 would want to see u naked anyway. Which I thought was all pretty unnessecary. I don't know if this has anything to do with his reaction... I'm 22, he's 36. I support him with his job (doorman) he's very good looking and I know he does get alot of attemtion from females (and males) at work, I don't have an issue with that. A jobs a job, its pays the bills. He also has no issue in reading (i say reading, but I hardly think theres much of that going on) the magazines in which girls have their chests out and all the way to too shelf mags.... So If he can read them what's the problem in me having pics took, which realistically are not going to be published in a magazine! I'm well aware of how hard it is to be published etc and carve a career out of it and know I am off nowhere near that quality BUT what Im wondering is... Is he right and with justification or not wanting me to do it? Or am i being unreasonable? Has any1 else ever Had to deal with this and come to am arrangement that suited both etc? Confused ! Thanks Kayleigh x
Posted 3 Aug 2012
frankpht
Photographer
frankpht
He's a 36 year old insecure boy. You have to ask yourself is your relationship got enough trust. The way you describe him slagging you off is uncalled for. Begs the question if he thinks no one would want to see you naked is he repulsed by your nakedness. Doubt it so it's his insecurities firing on all cylinders.

Talking and reasoning with him is the best you can do. Doesn't sound like he'll back down very easily so it's down to you. Do you want to stay in a relationship with a guy who will undermine you. There are recent posts on here dealing with the same issue.

I'm sure someone will point you to them. Good luck with it I hope it works out.

Posted 3 Aug 2012
I trust him and I have never given him any reason not to trust me either.

Haha that was a mild and extremely toned down version of what he said. And yes that what I have also been wondering, If I am truely the hideous ogre he described me as, then why is he still with me... Hmm. Lol

I dont see anything wrong with it, every one has a body, there all just different shapes and sizes. Hes happy to look at similar sort of pics of other girls , who will have partners etc and he sees no wrong doing in that. The way he was going on u would think i had just announced I was about to do a porn film

Thanks I will have a look, its good to know I'm not the only one who Had s problem partner lol
Kayleigh

Posted 3 Aug 2012
He's cheating you.

I'd put money on it.
Posted 3 Aug 2012
I know he definitely isn't, he's either at work, gym trainin coz he bodybuilds, or with me... He doesn't like me walking round house in underwear etc if curtains are open as we have male neighbours that can c In to our house and he says he doesn't want thereto c me with no clothes on.... Its not like they haven't seen a girl in underwear etc.
Posted 3 Aug 2012
vipimages
Photographer
vipimages
this thread should be a red flag for photographers
Posted 3 Aug 2012
What do u mean by a red flag for photographers?

Posted 3 Aug 2012
twentytwenty
Photographer
twentytwenty
Control freak, not good. you can look forward to a life chained to the kitchen sink.

Posted 3 Aug 2012
I was only asking a question to find out whether that is norm for guys to be unhappy about their gf doing that or not???

It has no reflection upon my ability to work, I am more than capable of attending shoots and worling without interference from him, at the end of the day it is my choice to do that and if he Is not happy he knows where the door is, I will not b dictated to as to what I can and cant do.
Also he wont b present at shoots etc, any photographer I would shoot with I will have asked for references and then asked the model direct so I know I will be safe and not need a chaperone.

I'm guessing this is some of the reasons why I would want it red flagged maybe. Also he has no access to this account or any I'dra of its existion.

Kayleigh

Posted 3 Aug 2012
No no no, nope. That will not happen... I have left relationships when I stayed In glasgow funny enough because my ex was a control freak. Like I saod i will not be told what p do by any1.
Posted 3 Aug 2012
kayleigh90x

Hi I casually dropped it In to conversation with my boyfriend that I was wanting to do glamour modelling etc ... The response I received was completely unexpected. He was livid. Told me if I did it I was a slag, easy all the usual names. Then proceeded to say ur too fat and ugly, no1 would want to see u naked anyway. Which I thought was all pretty unnessecary. I don't know if this has anything to do with his reaction... I'm 22, he's 36. I support him with his job (doorman) he's very good looking and I know he does get alot of attemtion from females (and males) at work, I don't have an issue with that. A jobs a job, its pays the bills. He also has no issue in reading (i say reading, but I hardly think theres much of that going on) the magazines in which girls have their chests out and all the way to too shelf mags.... So If he can read them what's the problem in me having pics took, which realistically are not going to be published in a magazine! I'm well aware of how hard it is to be published etc and carve a career out of it and know I am off nowhere near that quality BUT what Im wondering is... Is he right and with justification or not wanting me to do it? Or am i being unreasonable? Has any1 else ever Had to deal with this and come to am arrangement that suited both etc? Confused ! Thanks Kayleigh x


Really?
And you want to be with this silver tongued keeper just why exactly?
I could understand his being uncomfortable with it and then explaining why, but to say the kind of things he did? sorry my love I would be looking very carefully at the relationship and whether it was worth staying with a person who can treat you/speak to you in such a way..
Posted 3 Aug 2012

In my opinion no not normal at all, however I have never experienced the jealous boyfriend situation i am fortunate to have a highly supportive partner and that in my opinion is how it should be. If I was you I would be more concerned about the way he voiced his opinion.

Posted 3 Aug 2012
vipimages
Photographer
vipimages
kayleigh90x

What do u mean by a red flag for photographers?


you have an agressive, jealous, insecure, bodybuilding, doorman for a boyfriend who dislikes the thought of your modelling to the point of abuse?

this sounds like a job for the white knights 
Posted 3 Aug 2012
doodyone
Photographer
doodyone
His reaction is not the norm in the sense of it being (as you've intimated) extreme.

As has been said there are lots and lots of threads where either a model's partner or a photogrqpher's partner is not happy wih their partner's job/hobby. In nearly all cases it is unsustainable and the relationship ends.

As to the red flag; people do not want 'Eastenders type drama' in the creative process of shooting - whether this manifests as no shows, or interruptions, or a lack of focus, or other.

Personally I think you are to be admired for pursuing what you want to do, after all it's not illegal, immoral, amoral, unusual or uncommon.

Controlling and manipulative people - pah!

Posted 3 Aug 2012
U should maybe read the comment I posted after that. Like I said my partner will have NO reflection, input or involvement in any shoot I do! No exceptions. If he doesn't like the choices I make then that's his problem and he can leave because I will not tolerate it.

Also the point of the post was and Is to find out if this reaction is common. Or do men generally support their partners?

If I dont ask , I will never know. Im well aware his reaction was OTT .

Posted 3 Aug 2012
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