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Depression and Life.

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Mad Hatter Photography is off-line
19 January 2013 17:36
add_barkaway
Photographer

Location
United Kingdom
Kent
Maidstone

I know abit random but thought id ask for some advice.
im 28 yrs old and suffered with depression since i was 15 yrs old. over the last few years i deemed to have it sorted but in the last 3 years its really taken hold of me. I struggle to operate, feel like the world is against me and nothing can go my way. ive gained 3 stone in weight and cant seem to shift it. for the last few years its also effected my work really badly and ive just changed my position and though i love it im scared of failed and quite often cry in my car between appointments.

Im also now scared that my biggest fear will come true that ever one of my parents will pass away before they get to see me in a serious and happy relationship.

Can anyone offer me some advice. (don't fear i am not suicidal)

Adam


Chrissie Red is off-line
19 January 2013 18:33
Chrissie_Red
Model
Chrissie_Red
Location
United Kingdom
Tayside
Perthshire

I don't think your parents will pass away unhappy if you are happy - even if that means not being in a relationship. There is more to the world than that, in some ways being single means you have less to worry about and nobody to rely on you but yourself. Sometimes that means you go through Chrissie_Red is a naughty person alone but other times it means you are free to be selfish and focus on your own issues.

Perhaps you need to speak to a professional about it, find the causes of it and try to understand them better. I have had depression in the past due to my anxiety pretty much screwing up the beginning of my adult life however even though I still have anxiety I'm far from being depressed now. I have lots of things to be thankful for in life.

Think about it this way, you do a job you enjoy - many people never experience that in their lives, hell these days most people are thankful to just have a job at all. Being anxious of failure is natural, however even if we fail we end up stronger because of the experience. I had to leave full time college courses twice and my first proper job because of my anxiety - admittedly it sucked but I realised the time wasn't right for me, or the job wasn't suited to me mentally and I know now I wasn't ready.

Exercise if a great happy stimulant though, so when that sunshine comes back out get out there and go for nice walks in the park - pay attention to all the details in the grass/flowers and trees and notice how beautiful they all are - how beautiful everything around is. Life throws us some Chrissie_Red is a naughty person ty cards but it also throws us some awesome ones too but we need to be ready to accept the awesome cards and be open to them.

I do suggest popping into the doctor though and explaining how you feel, remember even if you feel like you are going back to the start when you have "episodes" its not back to the start, its just a couple of spaces to the side and you end up on a new path.

Read lots up online, realise you are far from being alone and believe it or not most people have periods in their lives where they are depressed - its natural. It might just be a little more difficult for some to shake off but you will get there!



Moorlane is off-line
19 January 2013 19:55
Moorlane
Photographer

Location
United Kingdom
Greater Manchester


I agree with Chrissie- some thoughtful and well considered advice.A talk with your GP and possibly some medication just over the short term might help.You are certainly not alone and you need to take comfort from that.Think about what cheers you up.During the day look forward to something simmple that evening.Maybe its making a call to a friend or simply watching a favourite TV programme.Find small things that you enjoy and look forward to them so that the bad stuff isn't in your mind all the time.


Durham Photographics is off-lineSilver Member
19 January 2013 20:09
Sarge
Photographer
Sarge
Location
United Kingdom
County Durham


Great post by Red, especially the last sentence.

Everyone, bar none, has times in their life when they feel really down, its a human emotion.
I too had bouts of depression on my early 20's and was mainly down to relationships and the way i felt about myself. I used to work in the motortrade delivering items, and would sometimes just stop the van to cry. I didnt even 'really' know why.
I also felt as though i had no one to talk to and even went to the doctors about it (who put me onto anti depresents).
Something i always remember was what an ex-girlfriend said to me (her name was Helen). She could obviously see my depression and low esteem. She said 'You have got to like yourself before other will like you', and this is SO true. I forced myself to like myself (or to act as though i did). I think some models do this too (in fact i know of one on this side who admitted it), as it helps with the way they feel about themselves (despite looking confident).

Today i look quite successful and confident and am always making jokes and laughing (very happy go lucky kind of person), but to be truthful i still do feel down on occassions. I go to the gym several times a week and still feel and look fat in my eyes and feel unhappy about it. I also have other issues that effect me too.

It will get better, life has twists and turns, but you have got to ride through them. It may even get worse for you in the short term, but persevere and there will be a light.

I do recommend the gym. Ok, when you first go you WILL feel down as the guys there are strong and muscular and you go looking/feeling like a lard arse (I did), but keep at it and you will find that these muscular guys start saying hello and chatting to you. You make friends and start to get stronger whilst toning up and losing weight. There is no better feeling than seeing you raise the weights you are lifting or going that extra 30 to 60 seconds on the treadmill.
A gym i used to go to in my early 20's (now 43) had a guy called Bill Boyd (who trained some well known body builders) and he said that you are what you eat and he was right. Sort your diet out and you will start to feel better inside. Get rid of ALL pre-cooked foods or those with chemicals and e-numbers and eat fresh, you WILL see a difference. It may sound stupid, but try it, it DOES work (I cant emphasise this enough).


Allan Marshall is off-line
20 January 2013 04:48
raven60
Photographer
raven60
Location
United Kingdom
Buckinghamshire
High Wycombe

Keep it simple, contact your GP. They can arrange for you to see your local health mind group.
We all go through this hidden pain, even if single. You don't have to suffer this alone.
Pills can help, to stable your misery. Try to look at these a short term lift.

Proffessional help can make you see light, and understand your feelings better.

I wish you luck
Regards
Allan


Mao Zhu Photography is off-line
20 January 2013 11:45
MaoZhu
Photographer

Location
United Kingdom
Wiltshire
Warminster

Major depressive event before 20 is one of the signs of bipolar disorder, just a suggestion of something to throw at your GP. Photgraphers and artists seem to be particulary prone to this type of thing.


 jivago Photographic is off-line
20 January 2013 12:34
jivago
Photographer
jivago
Location
United Kingdom
Highland
Highlands & Cheshire

Hi,

Building on what has been said:- It would probably be useful to get medical advice, in order to establish the cause and apply the correct treatment. I encouraged a friend of mine who was suffering badly from SAD to try a light-box - What a profound difference it has made!!!!!!!! Who knows if that is right for you also? - But it shows how radical the turn-around can be!!!

Exercise of course will work in many ways and on many levels. The Four Hour Body By Time Ferris contains sound science to loose weight and retain muscle - And Fast! Adding to Chrissie Red's observations, cut out the processed carbs (pasta, white bread potatoes etc).

Cognitive Behavoural techniques are superb at 're-engineering' un-helpful thought patterns. You could learn about the 'Flight and Fight Response' which can trap people into anxiety. Relaxation techniques combined with CBT are very powerful tools.

I am not a Doctor of medicine:- Just take this as - 'there is a whole lot you can do'.
http://www.jivagophoto.com/


Jesfish is off-line
20 January 2013 13:45
jes
Model
jes
Location
United Kingdom
Suffolk
Lowestoft

Go and see your GP and make sure they do something to help you and not just palm you off as "feeling a bit low".  Depression is serious and a medical condition that needs the help of medical professionals, not models and photographers on an open forum.

Best of luck.


Mad Hatter Photography is off-line
20 January 2013 13:49
add_barkaway
Photographer

Location
United Kingdom
Kent
Maidstone

thanks for the responses everyone, bipolar had crossed my mind before but my doctor didnt think it is, im currently on citilapram which i have been on for a while. cutting down on th ecarbs maybe worth a go as i do eat alot of pasta.
my energy levels are all over the place so i struggle with the gym but am trying more now.

my work just scares me so much, this new photography job is my dream but i just cant seem to get things working the way i want it too.
its mad i bought a house just over a year ago but yet i dont feel proud im a home owner if anything it just scares me more.


 jivago Photographic is off-line
20 January 2013 16:11
jivago
Photographer
jivago
Location
United Kingdom
Highland
Highlands & Cheshire

Quote from jes
Go and see your GP and make sure they do something to help you and not just palm you off as "feeling a bit low".  Depression is serious and a medical condition that needs the help of medical professionals, not models and photographers on an open forum.

Best of luck.



That did ocur to me.

Peversely carbs can cause energy issues:- 1. They can lead to 'glucose spikes' which later on leave you feeling very tired 2. They can cause bloating.

That advice re the GP is very apposite - And becuase food can effect mood, you may want to talk to your GP before changing diets too radically.

All the best!

http://www.jivagophoto.com/



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