Reminder Secure

Generally heartbroken.

This thread is being watched by 1 person
Angel3 is off-lineSilver Member
25 September 2012 10:40
angelique110
Model
angelique110
Location
United Kingdom
West Sussex
worthing

I don't really know where to start.
I know I've posted a while back about my boyfriend breaking up with me.
I've started a new college course and am dealing with it incredibly badly.
I can't get my mind off him- he was my first love and it's just terribly heartbreaking to know the person whom you thought the world of is no longer part of your life and thinks rather unkind things about me.
I shared many wonderful moments and memories with him and I just feel like my world has changed in a way. Anyone experienced a similar scenario?I know 'time is the best healer' but I'm really wanting to work hard on this college course and finding it excruciatingly challenging to improve and explore art with him constantly roaming through my thoughts. I find myself lying in bed deliberating on our relationship and analysing every aspect of what went wrong.
Serious comments only please- would be appreciated.
Thanks.


Suzy Monty is off-line
25 September 2012 10:57
SuzyMonty
Model
SuzyMonty
Location
United Kingdom
Cornwall
Truro Cornwall -enjoy travelling! -Published Internationally

It's horrible when relationships break up. Feel greatest sympathy for you.

I was engaged to a a guy, he was my world at the time...and it ended...found out that even the engagement ring he'd given me wasn't a real diamond...and he's been two timing me.

Took ages to get over...Didn't think would ever trust another guy, BUT I did and went on to meet my now husband and we've been happily married for 39 years this year.

It will be hard for you...but hearts do mend.

If fate decrees you meet someone else, you could be happy again. You may not believe that NOW...but hold on in there. Time IS a healer.

Good luck with your future.

Am sure the guys and gals on here will offer good advice.

To share hurt can help...
 
All the best with your college course...don't spend your nights thinking what could have been with your first love...

Release your negative thoughts and TRY to think positively...It's always harder with first love...that song says it all 'The First Cut is the Deepest'

Best wishes,

Suzy x

Elizabeth Arden quote - 'I'm not interested in age. People who tell their age are silly. You're as old as you feel' OR LOOK...


David Hunt Images is off-lineSilver Member
25 September 2012 11:07
DavidHunt
Photographer
DavidHunt
Location
United Kingdom
Hampshire
Portsmouth

Break-up's are never easy, even for the one who has done the 'breaking up'.

So true, time really IS a great healer but that probably doesn't help you right now. Maybe the best thing you need right now is a 'true' (female?) friend who is thoughtful, understanding, a great listener but someone who is also strong and able to lift your spirits when needed.

At least at college you should be with 'like minded people' who can hold an educated conversation about your particular course and other interesting subjects. This will, above all else, help you to move on in life both personally and professionally.

It won't be easy, as your ex will be in your thoughts for a while, but over time your course will keep you busy and before you know it you are thinking less about him.

Hang on to the good memories you have. These form an important part of your lifes make-up and experiences.

At the end of the day, you know there are people who think the world of you, these will be friends for life.

Keep your chin(s!!) up
www.davidhuntimages.co.uk www.themakeoverstudio.com


Graham is off-lineSilver Member
25 September 2012 11:08
grahamsphotography
Photographer
grahamsphotography
Location
United Kingdom
West Sussex
Chichester


The love of my life left me and it nearly destroyed me, but in the end I decided that she would not ruin my life.

You can get over it, maybe never completely as nearly 25 years later a little something will crop up to remind me of her.

I have had some great times since though, whatever you do don`t turn to anti depressants.



beauvoir is off-line
25 September 2012 11:19
beauvoir
Model
beauvoir
Location
United Kingdom
Birmingham
Birmingham

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I was in a relationship for three and a half years with a man who no longer talks to me. He was my first love. No advice will really help but I can offer you this:

+ Don't negate or invalidate your emotions. You're grieving.
+ There are people out there who will help you. Ask your GP for a referrel to see a councillor. I went on antidepressents when I broke up with my ex. I knew the pain would stop eventually, but I didn't know when and the pain was too great. I needed help.
+ Distract yourself. I chose to sleep most of the time as being awake hurt too much as I thought about him all the time. I went on holiday, went out to gigs, went on walks... I just went out.


25 September 2012 11:27
Webbo2
Photographer


I'm 23 now, but as I started my first year at college, my first love broke up with me and I was a mess. That year I failed 3 out of 4 AS-levels, got a D in the 4th. I had to go back the following year and start again from scratch with my AS-levels in subjects that I wasn't that interested in (my tutors refused a re-entry to my previous years courses). So I wasted a year of my life, and didn't go to university to study what I had always planned for as I didn't have the necessary qualifications.

Don't make the same mistake that I did!

Whilst it never (ever) stopped hurting, you have to find a way to concentrate on your studies, it's difficult but not impossible. Feel free to pm me if you want to ask my anything about my experience, I'll be happy to share my story in more detail.
EYUP!


samsara is off-line
25 September 2012 11:35
samsara
Model
samsara
Location
United Kingdom
Glasgow
will travel anywhere in the Uk

Been there like many others, and its heart wrenching.
I made the mistake of not eating lost alot of weight, wasnt sleeping as I couldnt ,ended up making myself very ill through someone who had cheated and treated me like i was a lunatic.
Tried tablets from the doctor they personally werent for me.
Took me 3 years to get fully over him.The best day is when you see them and feel nothing

Chin up and try and focus on your college course and what fabulous opportunties are ahead of you.
Also doing things you enjoy will start to distract your mind.

xx


25 September 2012 11:42
_elegia_
Photographer


Distractions, and plenty of them.
Throw yourself into your college work and modelling. Just keep yourself busy and be around friends etc.
I've lost over a stone in weight (not that I'm complaining) and go through spells of feeling sad. But I've managed to keep my mind occupied with work and modelling, and thankfully I have plenty of good people around that have kept me on the right track.

Best wishes. xx

What happens in Leeds. Stays in Leeds.


beauvoir is off-line
25 September 2012 11:45
beauvoir
Model
beauvoir
Location
United Kingdom
Birmingham
Birmingham

Weirdly, I found talking to people online helped the most. I had my friends around me but a lot of them knew him, and I worried I was boring them (I wasn't). My friends on sites like this, and others I use, were good to talk to. Impartial people who had been through the same.

I hope you stay strong.

x


Angel3 is off-lineSilver Member
25 September 2012 12:12
angelique110
Model
angelique110
Location
United Kingdom
West Sussex
worthing

Thank you so much for your kind words everybody. I will try distract myself from anything that reminds me of him.
I'm in such a state of shock and heartbreak at the moment that I just can't bring myself to do anything without feeling hopelessly lost and demotivated...
The only way I can describe it is as if I'm looking down on myself from a far distance...watching myself deteriorate and fall apart.
I feel angry, sad and confused but worst of all- numb.

Any advice on what are the best distractions?
Music-makes me cry
art- it comes out terribly due to my lack of concentration
reading- can't focus
tv- can't focus
piano- can't focus

(seems to be a repeating pattern)
I can't focus on anything or it makes me cry so I have to step away.



2 Users currently online   Blue=Models Orange=Photographers Red=Agencies Purple=MUA/Stylists Grey=Studios Green=Moderators
csk_photography Studio1