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You favourite joke

David Hunt Images is off-lineSilver Member
13 November 2012 08:10
DavidHunt
Photographer
DavidHunt
Location
United Kingdom
Hampshire
Portsmouth

Tom was working in the garden this weekend and his wife was upstairs, about to take a shower.

Tom realized that he couldn't find the rake and yelled up to his wife, "Where is the rake?"

She couldn't really hear him and shouted back, "What?"

He pointed to his eye, and then he pointed to his knee and made a raking motion.

His wife was a bit puzzled and again said "What?"


He repeated the gestures. "Eye - Kneed - The Rake"

His wife indicated that she understood and signaled back.

She first pointed to her eye, next she pointed to her left breast, then she pointed to her backside and finally to her crotch.

Well, there was no way in hell Tom could even come close to that one.

Exasperated, he went upstairs and asked her, "What the hell was that?"

She replied,

"Eye - Left Tit - Behind – The Bush"..............
www.davidhuntimages.co.uk www.themakeoverstudio.com


Kevin W is off-lineSilver Member
13 November 2012 12:40
carshaltonkev
Photographer
carshaltonkev
Location
United Kingdom
London
Carshalton / Surrey / Greater London

Where did Bin Laden wear his watch?

On his TERROR WRIST.

My favourite is probably Mike Read's donkey joke and he can (could) tell it better than I can. It's crude and it's on youtube.
As in life, so in a game of hazard, skill will make something of the worst of throws.


Dave Butcher is off-lineGold Member
13 November 2012 13:28
davebu
Photographer

Location
United Kingdom
West Midlands
Rugby

Can a cross-eyed school teacher control her pupils?


David Hunt Images is off-lineSilver Member
15 November 2012 07:00
DavidHunt
Photographer
DavidHunt
Location
United Kingdom
Hampshire
Portsmouth

A couple of men stole 100 crates of Red Bull from a local factory the other day.....

...... I don't know how those guys can sleep at night!
www.davidhuntimages.co.uk www.themakeoverstudio.com


Alan Wilson is off-line
15 November 2012 07:16
alanwilson
Photographer
alanwilson
Location
United Kingdom
Kent


I wonder if anyone finds these funny, I do anyway.

Here is today's
A man enters a brothel with £10, he asks what could potentially be on the menu for such a sum.

The lady says........... "hmmm, you can have the penguin"
So a while later in a room the man is waiting thinking to himself and wondering what treat awaits him, when in through the door strolls the finest woman ever seen, she heads straight for the man, runs her fingers through his hair, down his chest, unbuttons him so that his trousers fall around his ankles.

The man is beside himself with excitement as the beautiful woman commences hand relief on the man, the man is in heaven and very close to the vinegar stroke, when the woman suddenly stop's, get's up and walks away.

The man attempts to follow her, but is obviously hampered by his trousers, and manages only a penguin type waddle in the direction of the door.



Jonathan is off-line
19 June 2014 04:23
SandyCamel
Photographer
SandyCamel
Location
United Kingdom
Nottinghamshire


What do you call a cat that swallows a duck ?

A duck-filled-fatty-pus

Relax, take it easy and float down-stream with the Sandy Camel


Paul is off-lineSilver Member
19 June 2014 11:00
DorsetHammer
Photographer
DorsetHammer
Location
United Kingdom
Dorset
Christchurch

We bought a dog from a blacksmith, as soon as we got it home it made a bolt for the door.
It was broken when I got here


Steve Guy is off-line
20 June 2014 06:37
Sdeve
Photographer

Location
United Kingdom
Derbyshire
Derby

Jesus came upon a group of men about to stone a woman to death. He asked what her crime was and they told him she was an adulteress. Jesus, according to the bible, then picked up a rock and wrote something on it before placing it on the ground, saying "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. The crowd went quiet but after a few seconds an old woman staggers out from the crowd with a huge rock held over her head, and she dashes it on the skull of the adulteress, killing her instantly. Jesus looks at her and says "Sometimes you really hack me off, mum."


Paul thomas Ford is off-lineSilver Member
21 June 2014 13:27
paulford
Photographer
paulford
Location
United Kingdom
South Yorkshire
Doncaster

Do Cucumbers make you burp, Or is it just me pushing it up too far?


xj40 is off-line
29 June 2015 06:24
digitalprophotos
Photographer
digitalprophotos
Location
Asia
Philippines
sun valley

Man said to God --- Why did you make women so beautiful? 
God said to man --- So that you will love them. 
Man said to God --- But why did you make them so dumb? 
God said to man --- So that they will love you. 
Which of the photographs is my favorite? The one I’m going to take tomorrow



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