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  | 21 July 2012 18:22 |
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| Mark_Time Photographer  Location United Kingdom Lothian Livingston | Shamelessly stolen from another forum... They Walk Among Us - BE VERY WARY you have been warned ! IDIOT SIGHTING No.1 My daughter and I went to the McDonald's drive through check-out window to pay our bill and I gave the clerk a £5 note. Our total bill was £4.20, so I also handed her a 20 pence piece. She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.' She sighed and went to get the Manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but we do not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change. IDIOT SIGHTING No2 We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a moment, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two..' We haven't used Garador repair since. Happened in Moor Park , near Watford . IDIOT SIGHTING No3 I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Department to request the removal of the 'DEER CROSSING' sign from our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars on this stretch of road! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing, any-more.' Story from Potters Bar, Hertfordshire. IDIOT SIGHTING No 4 My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried Chicken and ordered a Taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had Iceberg Lettuce. From South Oxhey , Hertfordshire. IDIOT SIGHTING No 5 I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' Happened at Luton Airport IDIOT SIGHTING No 6 The traffic light on the corner buzzes when the lights turn red and it is safe to cross the road. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged friend of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She is a Local County Council employee in Harrow , Middlesex. (And she's NOT blonde) IDIOT SIGHTING No7 When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the Service Department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the Driver's door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door-handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'it’s open!' His reply: 'I know. I already did that side.' This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans , Hertfordshire. STAY ALERT! They walk among us. AND THEY BREED! |
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| Im not racist. I hate everyone! | ||
 | 21 July 2012 19:47 |
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| gerda_babbii Model  Location United Kingdom Norfolk Kings Lynn | Hahaa  |
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| www.gerdamodelling.weebly.com | ||
 | 22 July 2012 00:12 |
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| gerryquiff Photographer  Location United Kingdom Lanarkshire Bonnie Scotland | I got a lovely ipod a couple of years back. Within a month one of the headphone buds split apart. I went into the apple shop and explained what had happened. I was asked if I had emptied my ipod of all my music, image files, etc... When I replied no, it was explained they couldn't swap the files over and it was best that I emptied the ipod before I returned it. I explained that it was only the earphones that were damaged, and couldn't they just change them, and I was told they may want to test the ipod in case that caused the fault in the earphones. Apple store. Glasgow 2010 |
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| I got a hot rod ford, and a two dollar bill; And I know a spot right over the hill. Theres soda pop and the dancings free So if you wanna have fun, come along with me. | ||
| 22 July 2012 02:36 |
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| Phil_M Photographer  Location United Kingdom Greater Manchester Stockport | Two separate conversations with my next door neighbour 1) during a power cut, her central heating stopped working. She could understand why, being gas powered, her radiators were cold. I explained that the water pump that takes the hot water around her house was electric. She thought about this for awhile then asked me if her car would still start. 2) this was actualy recounted by her husband and and don't remember the footballer involved. Watching football on TV, an enormous transfer fee had been mentioned by the commentators and also the fact that the player could shoot with both feet... her comment...."  he'd fall over" |
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| philmairs.blogspot.co.uk | ||
| 22 July 2012 03:01 |
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| Spooky Photographer  Location United Kingdom Hertfordshire Kimpton, Hitchin | I know she will kill me for sharing this but the first time I took my wife to Cornwall she made a 'gaff' we have not let her forget in 15 years; in fact every time we go there, i remind her of the story. We were driving from Porthcurno to Penzance and had to go through the village called Drift. As we passed the sign my wife asked what 'Drift' meant. My brother, who was driving, joked hat it meant you had to switch off your engine and coast along, which he subsequently did; it is a good downhill stretch of road so we were able to coast about a mile before switching the engine on. We didn't think any more of it until we were driving home and coming back through Drift, my wife asked, 'how are you supposed to coast uphill?' Spooks |
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| Just because you have a library card, it doesn't make you Yoda | ||
| 22 July 2012 03:12 |
| SouthernSnapper Photographer  Location United Kingdom West Sussex Worthing | Top post! |
| 22 July 2012 06:21 |
| Jack_Russell Photographer  Location United Kingdom West Midlands Burntwood | Sat in a taverna in Cyprus with a group of friends eating a traditional meze... out came the grilled Octopus...my ex-wife was determined to try everything served to us... after a few minutes chewing she exclaimed, much the the mirth of others.. "These testicles in my mouth are really chewy" |
| 22 July 2012 07:05 |
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| Phil_M Photographer  Location United Kingdom Greater Manchester Stockport | When speed cameras first appeared on the streets of Britain, I convinced a colleague that if you get caught, you can just reverse back through slowly and they take an average. |
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| philmairs.blogspot.co.uk | ||
| 22 July 2012 07:17 |
| stevegosh Photographer Location United Kingdom East Sussex Eastbourne | Homebase, a few years ago Call a member of staff to cut the chain member of staff came over, how much do you want sir? 3 ft please sorry, we only sell it by the yard |
| 22 July 2012 08:02 |
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| Phil_M Photographer Location United Kingdom Greater Manchester Stockport | OUTSIDE a garden centre, wife looking around and getting frustrated.. "What you looking for?" I asked "Indoor plants" she says |
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| philmairs.blogspot.co.uk | ||
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