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Q. for adult/fetish/BDSM/models

beauvoir is off-line
13 March 2012 14:43
beauvoir
Model
beauvoir
Location
United Kingdom
Birmingham
Birmingham

Hallo.

My boyfriend and I recently had a domestic. I came home after an 8 hour shoot and wanted a bath, a smoke and an early night. He wanted me to keep my outfit on and continue what I was doing with him. Aside from the fact I was exhausted about working all day which is something all models (and photographers) no doubt understand, it threw up another issue.

Do you models ever find you're in a strange headspace after such an invasive and intense shoot? I found that after being objectified and told what to do all day, the last thing I want is to take that from my boyfriend. I don't mind it at work (actually, I quite like it) and I like it with my boyfriend, but not all in the same day.

If you know what I mean, what do you do to cope with it? Other than smacking your boyfriend with a pillow and demanding he cooks you dinner by way of apology.



Maddawg is off-line
13 March 2012 15:21
pmeswani
Photographer
pmeswani
Location
United Kingdom
London


From a non-expert point of view, you are entitled to wind down and have a rest after a hard days work, regardless of whether you are modelling or not. If your partner doesn't appreciate that, then he has the problem, not you.


13 March 2012 15:25
Vas
Model


I don't think this is exclusive to adult/bdsm modelling to be honest. Sometimes you just need to be left alone to chill out - a partner should generally respect that.

Re: the bdsm aspect of it - when you've just done an intense scene, you really need to get 'back to reality', sort out blood sugars, rest, etc. Expecting somebody to do one after the other is really asking a lot, particularly in different environments, with different people and under different circumstances. I get the impression that you're done for the day, and he doesn't seem to understand that. I can't really offer any advice other than telling him he needs to understand!


22 March 2012 17:27
madala
Photographer


Perhaps you should book a session for him to spend a day being the model in something equally 'intense.'


Matt Harper is off-line
22 March 2012 17:52
mattharper
Photographer
mattharper
Location
United Kingdom
Devon
Paignton

No one wants to spend their evening doing their day job all over again, within reason.

Try it from a photographer's point of view, you look at and shoot a tasty 20 - 25 year old all day, then, when knackered, some old sow wants you to play with her saggy tits and ass. Stuff that (excuse the term) give me a vodka, my fags and a cuddle with the dogs

I don't have an old sow, just the dogs, thankfully



Moi is off-line
22 March 2012 17:56
clearview_photography
Photographer
clearview_photography
Location
United Kingdom
County Durham
North East

Quote from mattharper
No one wants to spend their evening doing their day job all over again, within reason. Try it from a photographer's point of view, you look at and shoot a tasty 20 - 25 year old all day, then, when knackered, some old sow wants you to play with her saggy tits and ass. Stuff that (excuse the term) give me a vodka, my fags and a cuddle with the dogs I don't have an old sow, just the dogs, thankfully




Are you saying when you get home you play with your dogs 'saggy tits and ass'

The most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose." - James Baldwin


Matt Harper is off-line
22 March 2012 18:01
mattharper
Photographer
mattharper
Location
United Kingdom
Devon
Paignton

Quote from clearview_photography
Are you saying when you get home you play with your dogs 'saggy tits and ass'




They are both boys and they have vowed to savage you for saying they have saggy tits and asses  


Jesfish is off-line
22 March 2012 18:07
jes
Model
jes
Location
United Kingdom
Suffolk
Lowestoft

Quote from clearview_photography
Are you saying when you get home you play with your dogs 'saggy tits and ass'




That's so cruel!  I mean, the dogs obviously aren't getting adequate exercise if they have saggy bits!


Jesfish is off-line
22 March 2012 18:10
jes
Model
jes
Location
United Kingdom
Suffolk
Lowestoft

Quote from beauvoir
Hallo. My boyfriend and I recently had a domestic. I came home after an 8 hour shoot and wanted a bath, a smoke and an early night. He wanted me to keep my outfit on and continue what I was doing with him. Aside from the fact I was exhausted about working all day which is something all models (and photographers) no doubt understand, it threw up another issue. Do you models ever find you're in a strange headspace after such an invasive and intense shoot? I found that after being objectified and told what to do all day, the last thing I want is to take that from my boyfriend. I don't mind it at work (actually, I quite like it) and I like it with my boyfriend, but not all in the same day. If you know what I mean, what do you do to cope with it? Other than smacking your boyfriend with a pillow and demanding he cooks you dinner by way of apology.



If you were a nurse and had come home from a shift and he fancied a bit of role play, would that be acceptable?  Not if you were tired and wanted to chill out.  It's no different from you modelling and coming home tired.  I'd tell him to bog off!  I am single and share a bed with my Jack Russel though, so you might not want ot take advice from me!


Matt Harper is off-line
22 March 2012 18:51
mattharper
Photographer
mattharper
Location
United Kingdom
Devon
Paignton

Quote from jes
If you were a nurse and had come home from a shift and he fancied a bit of role play, would that be acceptable?  Not if you were tired and wanted to chill out.  It's no different from you modelling and coming home tired.  I'd tell him to bog off!  I am single and share a bed with my Jack Russel though, so you might not want ot take advice from me!



and I share mine with the two on the left  <
They are generally so much nicer than people
Jes excluded, obviously





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