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The Bad Joke Thread

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02 May 2011 14:06
Vas
Model


I love Vas is a naughty person jokes, so thought I'd start a thread of them! Add your awful jokes (preferably the ones that you embarrass kids/friends/significant others with).

What's brown and sticky?
A stick

What's white and can't climb trees?
A fridge

How do you make a dead baby float?
2 scoops ice cream, 1 scoop baby


02 May 2011 14:20
River
Model


Q- What do you call a rook in a tree with a machine gun?

A- Sir.


Q- What's yellow and dangerous?

A- Shark infested custard.

"I do this because Im having fun. The minute I stop having fun, I'll just walk away"- Heath Ledger


Chrissie Red is off-line
02 May 2011 14:23
Chrissie_Red
Model
Chrissie_Red
Location
United Kingdom
Tayside
Perthshire

I will PM you my bad joke on facebook xx


Wild Rose is off-line
02 May 2011 14:24
Wild_Rose
Model
Wild_Rose
Location
United Kingdom
West Midlands
Birmingham

Q- How do you get a dead baby out of a blender?
A- With a dorito.

`Do you know where the wild roses grow so sweet and scarlet and free`


Lexx is off-line
02 May 2011 14:25
Lexx
Model

Location
United Kingdom
South Yorkshire
Doncaster

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!

:-)


TarMoo is off-line
02 May 2011 14:26
tarmoo
Photographer
tarmoo
Location
United Kingdom
Kent
Chatham

Some Doctor Jokes:

Doctor, I think I am a pair of Curtains
Pull yourself together man

Doctor, I just swallowed my camera film
Lets hope nothing develops

Doctor, I think I am a clock
Don't get wound up about it

Doctor, I think I am like a pack of cards
OK, I will deal with you later
Q: How to make a small fortune from photography? A: Start with a large fortune.


02 May 2011 15:12
Vas
Model


Quote from Wild_Rose
Q- How do you get a dead baby out of a blender?
A- With a dorito.




Oh I am the QUEEN of dead baby jokes!

What's the size of a breadbin but can't fit through a door?
Baby with a javelin through it's head

What goes plop plop, fizz fizz?
Baby in a bucket of acid

What's black and taps on windows?
Baby in a microwave

What's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a ferrari in my garage

What's worse than 10 dead babies in a bin?
1 baby, 10 bins




Kirk Schwarz is off-line
02 May 2011 15:42
kirkschwarz
Photographer
kirkschwarz
Location
United Kingdom
Cambridgeshire
Peterborough

2 Tomatoes in a frying pan, one turns to the other and says 'Phew, it's hot in here' the other turns and looks for a second before shouting 'holy kirkschwarz is a naughty person ! A talking tomato?!?!'.


Q: What goes thud thud thud thud thud thud thud squelch?

A: An octopus missing a shoe.................
Can someone tell me how to put text in this box???


w4pictures is off-line
02 May 2011 16:55
w4pictures
Photographer
w4pictures
Location
United Kingdom
London
Chiswick

I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.


Kevin W is off-lineSilver Member
02 May 2011 17:04
carshaltonkev
Photographer
carshaltonkev
Location
United Kingdom
London
Carshalton / Surrey / Greater London

Did you hear about the suicidal... er... banker?

He tossed himself off a cliff.



As in life, so in a game of hazard, skill will make something of the worst of throws.



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